“A major tick off your cycling bucket list,” boasts the Etape du Dales website, before imploring, “Respect the challenge. The Etape du Dales is an extremely difficult ride and requires an excellent level of fitness.”
Tish and pish, I scoffed through another mouthful of cake. How hard could it really be? The Etape du Dales is a long-established challenge ride around the Yorkshire Dales. It has a reputation as one of the hardest events of its kind in the UK, and I’d been eager to give it a go since it was first run in 2005. 2015’s 40 Things At 40 seemed to finally provide me with the necessary impetus to drive 320 miles northwards to Skipton, North Yorkshire, and go toe-to-toe with the beast.
It was around two-thirds of the way up the first of several major climbs, Fleet Moss, having been dropped from the group I’d ridden with for the past 20 miles or so, that I began to regret not paying more attention to the cautionary words on the website. Bags of crisps, mouthfuls of cake, pints of beer and missed training rides all returned to haunt me as gravity tugged on every excess calorie consumed since Christmas.
And then there was the wind. We were lucky to have a predominantly dry day, but the wind was without doubt the worst I’ve ever ridden in. On the exposed slopes of the Dales, it manifested itself as an unhelpful crosswind for the most part, but on the long, barren haul up Tan Hill it was a full-on block headwind that left everyone grinding away in bottom gear for mile upon torturous mile. Britain’s highest pub, the Tan Hill Inn, hosted a feed station at the summit, where hollow-eyed, wind-battered riders queued for cake and sandwiches and allowed themselves the smallest of inward celebrations that the halfway point had been reached.
With the relentless wind requiring that riders actually pedal downhill, the descent to Nateby offered only marginal respite, but things became considerably better when we finally turned south in the village and the headwind became a crosswind. We were granted some relief from the worst of the hills for a while, but by this time my legs had almost nothing left to offer, and the constant drags extracted a painful toll.
Spirits dropped even further when I realised I’d meandered three miles off course while looking for likely wee spots instead of route arrows, and had to retrace my steps.
But the climb that awaited when I’d finally got back on track was the real killer blow. Garsdale Head, or the Coal Road as it’s known, was the day’s toughest test. Long, steep, exposed, and very wet and windy, it really made me wonder if I was going to be able to finish the ride. The dinner plate sprocket on the back really came into its own though, and I managed to complete the whole climb without stopping, despite a few close ‘toppling over’ calls.
After stopping to take a quick snap of the impressive Ribblehead viaduct, and scoffing an unseemly amount of cake at the final feed in Stainforth, there remained one last test. It wasn’t the toughest hill but after nearly 100 miles Silverdale bit hard enough to take chunks out of my thighs as I clung on to forward movement for grim death. Past the imposing, forboding hulk of Pen-y-Ghent, there followed one last exhilarating descent and then, finally, 12 miles of fast, flat, tailwind back to HQ.
Etape du Dales
Pros Very rewarding, with some amazing scenery
Cons ‘Challenge’ doesn’t even begin to cover it
Verdict Never again
8/10
I’m raising money for MS Society UK! If you enjoyed the blog please check out my Just Giving page. Thanks! Pictures thanks to www.danieljgould.com
With thanks to www.daveraynerfund.co.uk
Check out the forthcoming Cycling Active August issue for more words and photos from the Etape du Dales
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